Ultra sound

I was in my second trimester and everything was fine… I was just crabby. Everything was going well with this pregnancy. It was time for me to have my ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby and make sure everything was going well. Since we already had a girl people assumed we wanted a boy. He would always state "it doesn't matter to me", and people would answer " oh as long as it is healthy right?". This question would irritate him. I loved his response, "no, as long as it is mine!" he always wondered if these people meant he wasn't suppose to love his child because it wasn't healthy.

I had always wanted a boy. I was pleased with my daughter but I grew up with a sister and 2 female cousins and had always wondered what it was like to have a boy around the house. I went to my appointment and had decided to bring my daughter. I thought this would be an exciting time for her. As they did the ultrasound, she seemed disinterested. They then told me that it would be another girl… again she appeared disengaged. I thought about all the perks of having another girl. They would be playmates, and I would not need to buy any baby clothes since I already had them.

I explained to my daughter about having a sister, she seemed disappointed and almost defiant about it. She obviously did not want to share the spotlight of being my daughter.  I called him and told him we would be having another girl. He was excited. She was due in September. This was just all so exciting!

follow ups

I had some follow ups the following week. I needed to get my staples removed and I had an OB appointment and a general appointment with the ER physician to make sure I was doing well. My dad drove me around for the appointments and my husband accompanied me. The first one of getting my staples removed was actually a little painful. The had basically inserted into my skull metal and were pulling them out in what looked like pliers. While I was there I went to see the ER doctor and he looked me over and said I was doing fine, swelling and bruising was going down.

t my OB appointment, they did an ultrasound. Then the technician called another technician in and did another ultrasound. Then they called in a doctor and started to confer with each other. They asked me how many weeks I thought I was. With my husband by my side I said "about 8." They then asked me who had told me after he accident that everything was fine. I explained how a technician had done an ultrasound in the ER room.

"It looks like you are no longer pregnant". I was in shock. Almost like the words were not penetrating. I looked at my husband and he seemed just as lost as me. "we will do one other ultrasound and then we will discuss the options". I did not understand what options meant. How did this happen? Was it the accident? I'm a healthy 18 year old how could this happen to me? after another disappointing ultrasound the doctor invited us to speak with him in his office. He explained how there was no way to tell when I had miscarried, and that I could decide to wait until my body discarded the tissue or I could have a same day procedure where they could do it.

I was still in shock. I was heart broken. I looked at him for answers. He looked at me and said "this is your body, you decide". I could not got through this disappointment and shock again. If I waited for my body to do it, it would be a pain I was unwilling to go through. The date was set for my procedure.