and then she smiled at me

My grandma had come over to stay with us to help me out with our baby. It was easy at first. The baby didn't do much.She cried occasionally but for the most part she was easy enough. My grandma liked holding the baby and cooing with her. I on the other hand was at a loss. How do I play with a baby. I had no idea what to do with her. He came home from work one day and I was crying. "I don't know how to play with the baby", I stated. He looked at me with sympathy and said "Honey she's only a week old you don't have to play with her."

She was a good child for the most part. She ate, slept and pooped like every other normal child. We even got down to a routine where in the mornings he would get up to go to work and change her diaper, bring her in to feed me and then her and I would go back to sleep. My grandma went back to my parents home and I was left with her alone. It was lonely. I spoke to her as she didn't respond. Some how I felt it wasn't any different from when I was home alone except that I had to care for her the little time she was awake. I was alone and miserable. Added to that he had taken a 2nd job that took him away most evenings.

I was miserable. Here I was expecting motherly instinct to take over and all I felt was what do I do with her. I was unaware that I would become a servant to a newborn child. Why wasn't this as romantic as it looks on TV. I played with her but she didn't play back. We would cry together. I felt I was failing. She was beautiful and 100% dependent on me and I didn't know how not to feel like a servant.

One day as I was holding her trying to calm her down and get her to sleep she looked up at me and then she smiled…. she melted my heart and I fell in love once again and I knew everything would be fine.