The story of how we fell in love

Friday, August 26, 2011

If it ain't broke, don't fix it

Luckily we didn't have a big wedding with a video camera so that people could not offer advice on film, but that didn't stop people from offering their two cents worth. It got worse as we had children, because the advice was no longer just about us but also about our kids. Some of it was well intended, others were just stupid. Like the never go to bed angry… why is this stupid? Because sometimes he does things that required more than one day of anger and hurt. I did like the advice of pray together every night when you go to sleep, it's a little hard to be asking God to put vengeance on him while he's beside me.

There is one piece of advice I wish we would have never gotten. During our newlywed years he worshipped me. His life revolved around me and my life revolved around him. He felt his job was to make me happy and I felt my job was to keep him satisfied. It worked perfect for us. I enjoyed the attention and he enjoyed being taken care of. He put me on a pedal stool. One day someone seeing how he was at my beck and call, which he actually enjoyed, someone asked him why he did those things. He answered about being my all and wanting to keep me happy. The man then told him that he could not put me on a pedestal like that because then I would fall. If he kept me on the ground then I would just trip and not fall.

It was advice we both thought about. It sounded true especially because it was coming from someone who had been married much longer than us. I think that day he stopped putting me on a pedal stool and I hadn't minded because well these were "wise" words. It changed our relationship, not saying badly it just changed it, not better. Looking back though I think we should have stayed with, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

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