insensitivity

The baby was getting out of the baby stage and entering the Toddler stage. She was walking and feeding herself. She was losing that 100% dependency I complained about and I wanted it back. I wanted her to stop progressing and just lay in my arms for the rest of her life. She was great and I wanted another one just like her. We set out to get pregnant. And me Miss fertile Myrtle was granted that wish.

I had gone to the hospital to have the pregnancy test. It came out positive we were excited. We were locating to a place that did not have a military facility nearby so I had the task of choosing a doctor. this was a new concept for me for I just picked one that took my insurance was nearby and was accepting new patients. The appointment was in about 2 weeks. By my estimation I was probably about 5 weeks pregnant. We had told our families and everyone anticipated another child. Unfortunately I miscarried before I was able to go in and see the doctor.

I was sad but was able to handle it, I kept my appointment with the OB just to make sure everything was well. He examined me and then made the statement "are you even sure you were pregnant?" What a most insensitive  question. Yes I had been pregnant and yes I did know how to tell if I was pregnant. I got up and left his office.We went to visit some family a week later and a family member said to me, "I heard you had been pregnant and had a miscarriage, what is wrong with you that you can't consistently stay pregnant." I immediately rattle off statistics on miscarriages and how most women who miscarry in the first trimester are not aware that they are pregnant.

Even though I was ready to defend myself with both the doctor and the family member, I began to have doubts about my body. What was wrong with me, did I truly understand my body? He stood by my side and assured me that there was nothing wrong with me, and that we could handle it together. He supported me and held me up. and this too shall pass.