perfect for me

We had started taken a class at our local religious institute. the class was called celestial marriage and was suppose to prepare you for when you find a mate. We were the only married couple taking class. we learned a couple of things that probably would have been helpful before the marriage. We learned on how important communication was in a partnership and how lack of communication meant two entirely different things to two different people. We learned how important it was to not walk away in the middle of an argument, (we were both guilty of that), and we learned that though we were a couple we did not need to always do things together, we needed our own outlet.

Our favorite story from class was about a couple having dinner. They are eating dinner in silence as he is inhaling the food. She is thinking that he can't stand the food and is going under the notion that if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. She feels he is eating quickly so that the experience may be over quicker. Jump to him and he is thinking "Can't she tell how much I love this food by the way I am wolfing it down." It's all a matter of perspective.

That probably was the first time we realized we had a communication problem. we had both been under the notion that our view was correct under all circumstances. We were both under the guise that we were always right. We developed a new plan on communication. Instead of blowing up when either one of us felt misunderstood we needed to convey our feeling and acknowledge the other persons feelings. I wish I could say that we were perfect after that but not so.

The most important thing we learned was how being perfect was an impossible thing. That when I compared our relationship to my parents we were going to fall short, simply because they had 20 years of practice. I learned that just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder so is perfection. I needed not to look at what others deemed as important in a spouse or relationship, but more of what i saw as perfect, and that was he him. I was perfect for him and he was perfect for me.