We were at the six month mark for him to come home. It was that time of the year… time to pick a new assignment. I was excited since we had been at first led to believe that we could have choice of orders. I wanted to go to Europe. I wanted to travel and leave the US. I felt it was better while the babies were still babies because it wouldn't affect schooling. He called so that we could discuss this new chapter in our lives. I thought it would be exciting for a child to say I was born in italy, england, or even japan.
"I want to change my job" he started the conversation.
"Umm what does that mean?"
" I want to work with computers and it requires a year of school in Florida."
"What happened to choice of orders, what happened to my European trip?"
"We can look into that when I get my new job."
"So I basically sacrificed one year for nothing? I spent one year alone with my child while you missed birthdays and holidays and all the hard work I have had to endure just so you could say you want to change jobs, something you could have done stateside! How is this fair to me?"
"I still have to get it all approved. I have a meeting with my career counselor tomorrow."
"Yeah whatever…."
It isn't that I wasn't behind this change, it's just that I felt that someone had pulled the rug out from under me. I had chose to endure all the hardships of being separated because I felt there was some reward in the end . I didn't feel that this was a reward. I was upset and angry. I felt like I was just a pawn in his life. Sometimes an inconvenience. He made the decisions and I just followed him without question. I told myself that i knew what I was getting myself into when I married a navy man but it still didn't make me feel better.
I knew I couldn't hold him back, working with computers would be an upgrade to the job he was doing now and it was a more marketable skill for the civilian world. I knew that his decision had our best interest in mind, I had to trust him.
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