Aloha Oe

It was our 2nd day of being married. I was packed and ready to go. we had a small plan, he would go to his trade school and join me in Hawaii, hopefully within the next 3 months. This was scary. these weren't plans that were being made by 2 kids hoping to stay in touch with a long distance relationship, this was a married couple trying to make sense of the situation and trying to prove to themselves and everyone else that this was not a wrong decision.

We took a cab to the airport. We sat there silently trying to figure out how this would work. I needed to find a place to stay when I got to Hawaii. I had no idea how to do this.  I had never before looked or paid for an apartment. We arrived at the airport. We spoke on how we would make this work. We talked about  when we would meet up and how to keep in touch and that this was a good decision.

I got on the plane. I sat there alone with my thoughts. A panic set in. What had I done. I had changed my entire life and perspective. I now was no longer in charge of just myself. I had to put someone else's feeling into the equation. There were things we hadn't spoken about, when would we start a family, what were our long term plans, would I take his last name?

These unanswered questions would not deter me and thinking this was a good decision. It was a good decision, he loved me and I loved him. I could make this work. I am not a failure. Was I trying to convince myself? I am a determined woman knew that I would make it work.